Open To All
Oct. 6th, 2015 08:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
weatherornotThe incessant beep... beep... of the machines got really old, really fast. Considering that's all she'd really been hearing the past few days she was really tired of them. She'd even just unplugged them once but that brought everyone rushing into her room, freaking out. So silencing them that way was a big no.
They'd finally let her have her phone so she could listen to music but the battery had run out on that and her mom had headed back home before Genevieve could ask her for a new one. She couldn't even text anyone to ask them to bring one because she had no phone and couldn't call because she didn't know anyone's numbers.
So it had been super, super boring on top of the beeping crazy. Nothing to do but think. Think about how she was not dead. And wasn't going to die, at least no faster than anyone else. She'd had one seizure since she was here and that super sucked. The doctors said she'd probably have them for the rest of her life but they were manageable, especially with medication.
Most people would be happy to be alive but Genevieve was... conflicted. She'd never planned on living a long, full life. She should be dead. Completely dead and passed on. But she wasn't and she had no clue how to deal with that. How were you supposed to deal with the potential to have hopes and dreams and long term plans when you never had that before?
Normally she just ran from that sort of thing because hey, she wasn't going to be around for very long. So no problem. Unless the problem was that now you were going to be around for a long time. So you couldn't really run.
"Ugh, this all sucks," she huffed, flopping back in her bed. "Stupid futures and stuff. Also, no one tells you how much weight you lose when you're in a coma. I feel like I'm down a whole cup size or something, this sucks."
[OOC: Genevieve is awake from her coma after saving the town! She's been awake for a few days but this is the first day non-family has been allowed to visit. Come say hi, even if you don't know her. Maybe you were visiting your sick aunt or something.]
They'd finally let her have her phone so she could listen to music but the battery had run out on that and her mom had headed back home before Genevieve could ask her for a new one. She couldn't even text anyone to ask them to bring one because she had no phone and couldn't call because she didn't know anyone's numbers.
So it had been super, super boring on top of the beeping crazy. Nothing to do but think. Think about how she was not dead. And wasn't going to die, at least no faster than anyone else. She'd had one seizure since she was here and that super sucked. The doctors said she'd probably have them for the rest of her life but they were manageable, especially with medication.
Most people would be happy to be alive but Genevieve was... conflicted. She'd never planned on living a long, full life. She should be dead. Completely dead and passed on. But she wasn't and she had no clue how to deal with that. How were you supposed to deal with the potential to have hopes and dreams and long term plans when you never had that before?
Normally she just ran from that sort of thing because hey, she wasn't going to be around for very long. So no problem. Unless the problem was that now you were going to be around for a long time. So you couldn't really run.
"Ugh, this all sucks," she huffed, flopping back in her bed. "Stupid futures and stuff. Also, no one tells you how much weight you lose when you're in a coma. I feel like I'm down a whole cup size or something, this sucks."
[OOC: Genevieve is awake from her coma after saving the town! She's been awake for a few days but this is the first day non-family has been allowed to visit. Come say hi, even if you don't know her. Maybe you were visiting your sick aunt or something.]
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Date: 2015-10-29 02:00 am (UTC)Hearing that Mira adored her, even after all the Genevieve had put her through, was too much and she immediately started to cry. She felt stupid because now Mira was really going to think she was a basket case but she couldn't help it. No one had ever cared for Genevieve like this or thought she was more than just a friend or a good fuck. But Mira made her feel like she was special. No, like she was the most special person in the world.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said, wiping at her eyes before she scared Mira out of the bed. "I just... you're amazing and wonderful and you think i'm special and I'm just being totally dumb. They're happy tears, I promise!"
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Date: 2015-10-29 05:33 pm (UTC)"Oh," she blinks, soft and baffled, because -- "Of course I think you're special, that's not amazing," she says, because to her it's obvious. Yes, of course she thinks Genevieve's sexy, she's gorgeous. But she's also really interesting and fun, smart and determined, she cares so much about people --
She cares about Mira, which is a little crazy. Mira has never spent much time thinking about herself as precious to anyone - her first girlfriend spent a lot of time making sure she knew she was not the only option out there - but Genevieve makes her feel important, and beautiful.
Mira leans forward and kisses Genevieve, curled up close to her in the bed. "You're not dumb. Happy is good," she says, unable to avoid smiling. "Much better than you're-moving-way-too-fast tears," she adds with a soft laugh.
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Date: 2015-11-01 05:12 am (UTC)"And I am happy, happier than I've ever been. Because of you. And because I'm not going to die really soon," Genevieve said, because she didn't want to dump all of that onto Mira's lap all at once. She knew it was a bad idea to say that all of her happiness was wrapped up in Mira. And it wasn't. There was just a level of happiness there that she hadn't ever experienced before that was because of Mira.
"But no, I promise. Not moving too fast at all. At least not for me."
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Date: 2015-11-02 07:06 pm (UTC)She takes a second to just lie there, face tucked close, curled up as much as they can in this awful bed and trying not to lie on monitor cords. Soak up the utter wonderful weirdness. It's like letting a breath out: for maybe a month now she's felt like everything inside her was tangled into increasingly taut knots. There's still so much that's complicated, to be afraid of, to not know, but right now everything feels conquerable.
"So...I made you something," she says, after a second. "And you can't laugh, because you're the one who said my ridiculous ass makes you happy," she adds, teasingly.
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Date: 2015-11-06 05:07 pm (UTC)"Do you think, once I'm out, you can stay with me for a few nights?" Genevieve asked. The idea of being alone was scary. Eventually she would have to deal with the fact that someone couldn't be with her all the time in case she had a seizure but she felt like it was okay to want someone there for a bit. Even if she wasn't worried about that she would want Mira there. "Both because I'm scared and because I really like you being with me."
It was a difficult thing to admit but with Mira she could do it. There was a tiny fear that having changed Mira wouldn't like her as much anymore but she refused to listen to that voice. She could still be fearless, just in a better way.
"And I've never said your ass was ridiculous," she said with a smile. "Firm, hot, grabbable, distracting... I've said it was all those things. But I do love gifts."
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Date: 2015-11-09 02:30 am (UTC)She reaches to tangle her fingers into Genevieve's. "I'm glad you asked, anyway. I would want ..." Mira feels a little presumptive saying that she wants to be there, having walked in unsure of where they stood. Even with Genevieve having asked. But the horrifying hour in the hurricane looking for her, being told she was basically planning to kill herself via text, the last three weeks -- she can't even put into words how sickeningly awful it had felt. If everything could be safe and happy and smooth sailing for Genevieve forever, that would be great, but if something is going to happen, she wants to know.
"I'm scared too," she admits. "But it's better being with you."
Mira laughs. "Only you would be talking about grabbing my ass in a hospital bed," she teases, and tickles her gently before leaning back over, stretching over the side of the bed so she can grab at the tote bag without having to move.
"So, I got you some stuff I thought you might just need, being here? Chapstick -- owl chapstick, fair warning, this is who you're asking to spend more time with -- and some shower stuff, and a bunch of tea, and oh, my mom insisted on making cookies because she's my mom..."
"Anyway." She controls the ramble. "I also brought you this." She pulls the little mix tape out. In little handwritten script on the label it reads a force of nature, and she looks at it with a little tentative smile. It takes a long time to make a good mix tape, and she likes that about them; this one had perhaps taken longer than entirely necessary.
"And uh, headphones," she says, pulling out the little walkman. "Because no one has cassette players except me, which is sort of a downside to that."
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Date: 2015-11-10 02:30 am (UTC)It was all so much, because it meant that Mira had thought of all of this even before Genevieve had a chance to apologize for being a total bitch. Even after all she had put Mira through she was still ready to show Genevieve more kindness than she deserved. She was tempted to cry again but she gave a hiccuping sob and managed to hold back the tears with a beaming smile.
"I love cookies. And mix tapes. Do you seriously have some super old stereo at home that you used to make this? You're ridiculous but in the best way," she said, wiping at her eyes and she smiled. "And your mom is the best for making me cookies."
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Date: 2015-11-10 07:15 pm (UTC)"This is hipster as hell, but my graduation present to myself was this little three in one. Records, cassettes, and CDs, and it records from one to the other." She can't hide how fond of it she is. "My car only has a tape deck, so that's how I got into them, but I really...like how much you have to think about mix tapes."
"I think my mom's philosophy is that food cures everything," she laughs softly. Mira chews on her lip a little. "There's no way she hasn't figured out how much I like you," she says; she's been thinking about it. Her parents are so left leaning and so okay with her friends regardless of sexuality; she's not sure why it's daunting to just say things to them. She really needs to.
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Date: 2015-11-11 09:34 pm (UTC)"Happy tears only, I promise," she said, reaching up to wipe her face dry as well as she could. At least she cried prettily, without getting too puffy or with tons of snot. That was the last thing she needed when she had a bunch of tubes sticking out of her.
"And that is so hipster. But cute. When I'm feeling better we're going to dress in vintage dresses and dance to records on your record player. And I want to meet your parents too? It's only fair, right? I just... I don't want to scare you but I just want more of you in my life. I have for a while now but I didn't think I could."
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Date: 2015-11-12 01:23 pm (UTC)She blinks, surprised and gratified at what she says next. It shouldn't be that that pushes Mira to tears, but it is; her eyes go shiny almost immediately, and she flushes, unable to hide her self-conscious smile. "I. Yes, that's -- fair."
Her family means so much to her, more than she realizes sometimes. The idea of family, too. She's really done Genevieve a disservice by not sitting down and explaining, not sharing her feelings with anyone but Etta, because she means so much to her. Even when she thought she had no chance. But no one else has ever asked to meet her family. Lily certainly hadn't wanted that. And she had been trying very hard to respect that Genevieve didn't do official, and failing, a lot --
She waves a hand in fluster at her own emotion, making a little face. "Sorry, sorry -- happy," she gestures and hides against Genevieve's shoulder a little.
"You're not scaring me," she says softly, linking their fingers. "Kind of the opposite." She looks up at Genevieve from too-close. "It's a lot, you know? All at once. But in a really, really good way."
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Date: 2015-11-14 02:51 am (UTC)Genevieve smiled and nuzzled Mira a bit at the happy expression. She didn't know why but just an evening dancing to records seemed super fun. There were a lot of things she wanted to do with Mira that seemed kind of ridiculous but fun. All the couples things she never allowed herself to experience before.
"So, do you think it's in a good enough way that I could say you're my girlfriend?" Genevieve asked, squeezing Mira's hand. She felt that it didn't seem too bold, that it seemed obvious, but she wanted to make it official. There was already a little flutter in her stomach at just saying the word.
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Date: 2015-11-17 03:35 am (UTC)Sometimes -- sometimes -- things work out okay, in this crazy town.
She smiles, nervous and excited, and nods. "Yeah, it's -- definitely good enough. If you're sure you want to, I mean -- I'd...really like that." She laughs, aware she's babbling.
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Date: 2015-11-19 02:52 am (UTC)"Oh, I totally want," Genevieve reassured her, kissing the top of Mira's head. She couldn't help but feel all warm and fuzzy at the idea. Passion and heat and desire were things she was familiar with. And they were awesome things. Really awesome things. But this was a new feeling and it was also equally awesome in its own way and she really loved it. A lot.
"You're really good to me, Mira. And I don't know what I did to deserve it but I'm glad I did it."